I’ve dragged this theology through the mud,
Forcing it to do what it promised.
Dunked it so deep into the sea to see
If there is truth in the words of the psalmist.
I’ve used it to wash wounds and sat with it
Among the tombs of life’s quiet, lonely rooms.

And each time, it has come out clean,
Doing what it said it would do—
Pulling me through to the surface,
Gasping for breath and new purpose.
It washes me clean and brings relief,
Taking me, always, to the One who takes my grief.

Last month I had a conversation with a dear saint, which has not left my mind. She let me know about the trials that her family has been going through and an upcoming funeral. It hit me how real our theology is. Trusting the sovereignty of God is not pie-in-the-sky theology, where everything is easy or inconsequential. It’s messy, earthy, and real. And our questions and confusion will not be fully resolved until glory.

For now we go through the mud, but we don’t go alone. Our Savior is with us and he saves to the uttermost (Heb 7:25). This is theology that can go through the mud of life with us.

All-knowing One,

Be close to students during this new school year.

Though the world changes every moment,
  You never change—
    May this bring great comfort, not apathy.
    May this bring true rest, not vanity.

Many anxieties await—
  Of friends and phones,
  Of adversaries,
  Of grades,
  And finding the right rooms,
  And sitting at the right tables.

But there is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother—
  There is One who will never leave nor forsake,
  Whose steadfast love never fails,
  Whose mercy never ceases,
  Who provides for all that we need.
  Always faithful, always true.

Give them knowledge, Lord,
  But give them so much more than knowledge—
  Transform them.

Take Your place at the Potter’s wheel.
  Choose them, place them, center them—
  Shape them.

Walk with them through the fire.
  Give them Christ—
  Purify them.

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays (or Saturday night). For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

If you've been pilgrimaging with me and enjoying these posts, you may want to leave a small token of appreciation. I’m happy to give these writings free of charge. There’s no pressure.

Buy me a coffee

Father in heaven,

You see me as a squirm, fuss, fight—
  As if I were an animal caught in a trap
    of Your sovereignty.
Though I try to muster all the faith I have,
  I don’t have enough.
  And I still can’t see ahead of me.

So I keep on
  Obeying,
  Walking,
  Waiting,
  Testing,
  Trusting,
  Praying.

And You keep on
  Leading,
  Providing,
  Speaking,
  Guiding,
  Working,
  Preparing,
  Loving.

You work in the secret places—
  Where I cannot see the loving paths,
  Where I cannot see the careful plans.

I’m like Job, who only sees a portion,
  May I say with him,
    You give and You take away.
    Blessed be Your name.

Help me not to trust the strength of my faith,
  But the One who loves me.
    I feebly paint my doorpost
    With the unfailing blood of Your sacrifice.

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays (or Saturday night). For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

If you've been pilgrimaging with me and enjoying these posts, you may want to leave a small token of appreciation. I’m happy to give these writings free of charge, so there’s no pressure.

Buy me a coffee

Behold its pungent glory
Sitting on a plate.
I can’t wait to tell the story
Of your impending fate.

Some like you sharp,
Others moldy.
If I’m honest, I want
You to be holey.

For Swiss is my miss,
My ever-delightful friend.
The bliss that you bring,
I never want to end.

For every moment of faithful care, I remember a fraction.
  Remind me.
For every millionth blessing, I give you a single thanks.
  Open my eyes.
For every wonder in my future, I fixate on the present’s problems.
  Give me faith.

You have not given me what I deserve,
  For rather than the raining of fire and sulfur,
  I am soaked in your mercy.

You have given me what I don’t deserve,
  I come up from my prostrate prayer, forgiven.
  I stand as an oak of righteousness, sanctified.
  I will meet you in the heavenly place, glorified.

For every forgotten gift,
For every unseen grace,
For every sin paid at the cross of Christ,
For every arrow averted,
  And every kindness sent,
For all of this, and more—thank you.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you.

Amen

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays (or Saturday night). For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

If you've been pilgrimaging with me and enjoying these posts, you may want to leave a small token of appreciation. I’m happy to give these writings free of charge, so there’s no pressure.

Buy me a coffee

Father in heaven,

I’ve grown so accustomed to this world’s
  Frail, fickle, fainting love
That I’ve failed to rest in Your
  Preceding, persevering, powerful love.

You are my fortress.

As I wake to virtual worlds that beckon for my fingertips,
  Remind me that my roots go into the earth,
  For it is full of Your steadfast love.

You satisfy me.

Before evil prevails upon me,
  Remind me that Your love precedes me
  And surrounds me
  And endures all the day.

You are my shield.

Don’t let me forget who I am in Christ
  And how great Your love is for me.
Every thought, gift, moment is a breadcrumb
  That leads me to the cross of Christ.

You are the rock of my salvation,
  Slow to anger
    and abounding in steadfast love.

Amen.

This poem is modeled on the section titled, “Relocate the True Story Each Morning” in Zack Eswine’s () book: Wiser with Jesus1 (pp. 144–146).

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays (or Saturday night). For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

If you've been pilgrimaging with me and enjoying these posts, you may want to leave a small token of appreciation. I’m happy to give these writings free of charge, so there’s no pressure.

Buy me a coffee

Lord,

You said I can serve only one master;
  That there is only one throne in my heart;
  And yet I have sat many gods on it.
  
I tried money, and it made me poor;
  People, and it put me in bondage;
  Things, and it hardened my heart.

I even tried sitting in it myself,
  And sank to my worst desires.
  My building fell, and great was the fall of it.

Forgive me.

There is only one throne, and it is Yours;
  Put an end to my little rebel kingdom,
  And reign over me, in me, through me, for me.

Whatever I need, provide.
Whatever weight hinders me, remove it.
Whenever I am weak, make me strong.

As far as the curse is found, be victorious.
If anything is lacking in me, complete it.
If ever I doubt Your love, love me still.

My God, You love me still.
  Grateful am I—You love me still.

Amen.

The book referenced in the voiceover is You Are What You Love by James K.A. Smith.

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays (or Saturday night). For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

If you've been pilgrimaging with me and enjoying these posts, you may want to leave a small token of appreciation. I’m happy to give these writings free of charge, so there’s no pressure.

Buy me a coffee

Father, use me in my weakness.
  I often err, stray, and fall short
    from what you have called me to do.
  I feel too embarrassed, timid, afraid;
  I am too comfortable, proud, selfish.

When I realize my error, it is often too late.
  Fix what I have broken.
  Give what I withheld.
  Make success out of my failure.

Lord, use me in my weakness.
  Shape me into a stronger vessel.
  Show me what I can do.
  Hold on to me as I fumble.

You discipline the ones you love.
  Thank you for loving me.

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays (or Saturdays). For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

If you've been pilgrimaging with me and enjoying these posts, you may want to leave a small token of appreciation. This content is free, so there’s no pressure.

Buy me a coffee

Lord,
  In You, I find my home,
  My peace, my salvation, my joy.
  In You, I am at rest, filled, mobilized.

  In the world, I find trouble,
  Confusion, double-talk, folly.
  In it, I am endlessly striving, empty, sinking.

Help me in this pilgrimage,
  To give You thanks for all Your good gifts
  And receive them gladly, not deservedly,
  For You are the Giver of all good things.

Help me in this pilgrimage,
  Not to be weighed down
  By things that are outside of Your call for me.
  Keep my arm from overreaching.

Help me hear the words of Christ,
  To seek first the Kingdom of God—
  Knowing that all of my needs will be met in Him,
  So I may love wisely, generously, freely.

In You, I have all that I need,
  Though I so easily forget, don’t forget me.
  Remember Your promises.

  Anchor me and send me out.

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays. For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

Father,
I am too content with
  The possession of possessions;
  And the convenient answers to my questions;
  The loud calls of Folly;
  And the stolen fare of Vanity Fair.
  
Lord,
Make me content with
  The measure you have fixed;
  And the reality of my limitations;
  The cries of Wisdom’s invitation;
  And the bread and wine she has mixed.

I’ve been deceived and bought the lie
  That the proud will inherit the earth.
  If only I outpace, outsmart, outplay;
  If only I deceive, devise, and make a way.

I’d give it all away, for just another day
  In your courts.
Make me rich in generosity;
  And bankrupt me of my greed.
I am weak, and you make me strong;
  I am strong, and you make me meek.

It’s all yours, Lord.
  I’m all yours.
  Do with me what is pleasing in your sight.

Amen

Series Introduction

Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays. For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

Intro: Sabbath Prayers is a series of written prayers that go live on Sundays. For me, written prayers work like a defibrillator for my heart. Sometimes I need help putting truth into words. I hope these prayers help give you honest words and a true sense of God’s love. They are written for you (and me).

Lord, you said that apart from you,
  I can do nothing;
And I have done a lot of nothing.

I often wake to the bright light
  Of my phone,
Rather than bask in the true light
  Of your Word.
I have scrolled by the faces
  Of strangers,
Rather than seeking
  The face of my Savior.

I have done a lot of nothing, Lord.

Wake me up
  So that I may savor you;
Warm this cold heart
  So that I may have warmth to give.

I am clinging to you as a child
  Who is being lovingly held.
You are the vine,
  I am a branch.
Nourish me with your grace.
Remind me of your love.
Work in me the work you have done.

Amen

Treasures fade
But He won’t rust
Passions wane
But Him I trust

Dreams sail
But He won’t veer
Friends fail
But He is here

Wallets shrink
But He remains
Foundations sink
But He’s the same

This feeble faith is all I bring
But He holds strong
And when I don’t know what to sing
He’s still my song

I should be
A thought leader
Entrepreneurial
Efficient
Optimized
Ready
Hustling
And flowing

Till the lights
Stop glowing
And I run
This race
At a pace
You can’t keep

Because I don’t
Sleep
Because that
Costs reps

So I count my
20k steps
Until I die

And then…
Wait, what was

This all for again?

I love to hear you cry

Not because it sounds so shrill
Nor the strength of your will

Not because of your fear
Nor even your messy rear

It’s not the pain you feel
When you haven’t had a meal

But when life’s cord tied its knot—
You and death fought

I love to hear you cry
Because we almost did not

I’m a fish of the ocean
Being told I don’t run
Fast enough or climb
High enough. But wait
‘Till you see how deep
I can go when you
Let me swim.

It’s difficult to avoid the feeling of inadequacy on the internet. Our current zeitgeist is a Frankensteinian creation. It is constructed with hyperbole, vanity, and volume. If you’re not pretending to be the best, you’d better be your opponent’s loudest critic. Don’t say that something is merely good, say it’s the best. Don’t say, “That’s a good point,” say, “They DESTROYED the other person!” Ours is a time and place where exaggeration is intoxicating and reality is rather boring.

After all, how do you stand out in a stream of endless content? My teenage son asked if I thought it’d be possible to watch every video on a social media platform. I guessed “no” because I didn’t think you could even keep up with it. I was kind of right, and yet not even close. According to one estimate, 500 hours of video was uploaded to YouTube every minute in 2022.1 I can’t imagine what AI usage is doing to that figure in 2025.

This is where sensationalism comes in. Algorithms reward the content that receives attention and engagement. This is what Mr. Beast figured out early on. Here is how he puts it in a sample scenario, “What you’re saying is, ‘I like bananas.’ What you need is, ‘bananas are the BEST *** ****** food on the planet.’” And, if you want to get clicks, he’s right. (And admittedly, there’s a big part of me that hates it.)

For the most part, I’ve found Substack to be one of the rare exceptions. I see so many great writers serving and growing their audiences, without many of the entrapments of other social media platforms. With that said, in an attention market with distractions at every corner, it’s the sensational that will thrive far and wide. As with most media, you go far with good content and really far with the neon lights of sensationalism.

Yet the problem of sensationalism is not “out there” in the mysterious ether of the algorithm. The algorithm only serves us a plate of our own desires. At the end of the day, if I’m receiving a lot of divisive political videos, it’s likely because I was doomscrolling political videos. Our hearts are in need of calibration. It takes discipline and refinement to feed our souls with nutritious food.

And friend, I’m sorry to say that I can only offer you what roughly resembles old meatloaf. For starters, I need to continue working on my craft. Even with that, I may never hit the jackpot at sensationalism’s casino. I will probably not go viral (unless you SMASH that restack button right now!!!). And, while I’m pretty happy with this arrangement, I can’t help wondering if I am doing it right or not.

While I do like a creative title, should I exaggerate my claim? Or, stir up some controversy? I’ve found myself in a war for attention that I’d rather not participate in.

I do hope that I can rest in the God who made me. And that you can rest in the God who made you. And that our little band will enjoy each other’s work, even when we’re boring. I think that’s better than the alternative.

I’ve been excited to share about this release for a while, and the time has come! has just launched the Kickstarter for an illustrated children’s poetry anthology called, I’ve Got a Bad Case of Poetry.

I was able to contribute two poems to this collection. One is about mosquitos and another is about snow. And fear not, there are much better poems from some really great poets within.

If you’re interested in this for your child, a child you know, or your inner child, please jump on the Kickstarter! I can’t wait to see these illustrations and words come to life in the imagination of our children.

Back This Project

For more details on the project, listen to this podcast discussion with and .

I’m uniquely forgettable.
It’s mostly my own doing
And my fear of being seen
But it still stings, if I’m honest.

I’ll probably go like Gram,
Nearly unnoticed, even
After 96 years of life
And a sprawling family tree.

Now a star in the sky,
Invisible to the naked eye.
But we’re still able to feel
the gravity of her life—

Her deftly crafted calligraphy,
And the love she gave us
For the birds of her backyard,
And her freshly picked spearmint.

Perhaps when pneumonia
Takes my last breath
Someone will count heaven’s stars
And see us together, unforgotten.

This poem has been sitting in my drafts folder for well over a year. It felt too close to the chest to share.

There were two things gave me a push to hit “Publish.” First, my grandmother’s birthday was yesterday and she was on my mind. Second, I was recently sick with the flu, and that little virus reminded me of the vapor that I am.

Growing up, I was a pretty sickly kid. I had asthma and a near-death experience when I was around 12. This always left me with the impression that my breaths were limited.

James writes, “What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:15). It’s hard to rightly remember how short this life is. It’s difficult to think that we may be forgotten. But there is One who will always remember.

“But only God can make a tree.” Trees by Joyce Kilmer

I'm humbled by this fragile frame but
Wonderfully made he says I am. If only
I could see the roots and how far God
Is driving them in. My dull heart can
Barely see any good coming from me. I make
A mess of everything, but in a
Blink I'll one day be—raised again—an imperishable tree.

Trees was one of the first poems that struck me and stuck with me. I love its simplicity. I love what it communicates. Joyce Kilmer (1886—1918) was a poet who kept it simple and I think he inspires me to do the same. It did, however, make him subject to many criticisms. Ultimately, Kilmer went on to serve and lose his life in the Great War. His poem, Prayer of a Soldier in France is similarly simple and profound.

I love the final stanza of Trees, “Poems are made by fools like me / But only God can make a tree.” The humility of the poet is exactly why criticism of this poem is undue. What it lacks in sophistication it makes up for in delightful truth-telling. Complexity does not always mean better, after all.

My poem above is written in a form called the golden shovel, created by Terrance Hayes. This is a poetic form that takes a line (or lines) from another poem and uses them as the final word in each line (in mine, “But only God can make a tree”). I hope that the simplicity of my poem honors that of Kilmer’s Trees. May they remind us to join the rest of creation: looking at God all day, and lifting our leafy arms to pray.